A Nagging, Jealous Partner & Domestic Violence

February 15, 2021 | Hopeton O’Connor Dennie |

Most of us can relate to the idea  that does exist of a nagging and jealous partner. This can be very difficult to relate to.  You invariably cannot speak to these persons. They have no reasonable rationale for their behaviour.  Some have seen the need to smash their partner’s property windshield, furniture, equipment, and even telephone. It is all so crazy.

When children are involved it can be even more messy. We have to set the best examples to them.  Children live what they learn  So sad!

High Percentage

An estimated 67 percent of all relationships in both secular and non secular societies across the globe are beset with relationship problems. The causes are many, but you often hear the comment:

“I cannot live with my jealous and oftentimes nagging partner, but cannot live without them”

This jealousy and nagging lead to many interpersonal conflicts.  This result in a lot of disputes

Quite contradictory, to say the least.

This observation seems as recurring as trying to divide 3 into 10. The decimal points go to the nth degree.  Women in particular, seem to be either the perpetrators or the victims of resulting nagging and jealousy.  We are not beating up on women, but they tend to complain much more than oftentimes suffering men. Are they always honest?  Are they also non violent?  We will examine these issues later.

We have long assumed that our men are violence producers and have not been looking elsewhere for the root caused of these domestic attacks.  We need to start looking at our women as a definite sources and the antagonists of many of these violent attacks.

Women Are Violent Beings

Dr.  Herbert Gayle has done extensive research on partnership and related violence and his findings paint a picture of a most violent, so called fairer sexes.

Dr. Herbert Gayle, a noted researcher has found and related inter alia:

” Women are featured in many conflicts in our society and numerous communal wars, and by extension domestic violence statistics. They have a greater propensity for violence than can be imagined”

Dr. Herbert Gayle reporting on his findings.

It may be shocking to many even “Me Too” inclined proponents and sympathizers.  They naturally portray women as paragons of virtue.  This portrayal is  understandable.  The wheel that squeaks the most will get the most attention.  The mechanic wants to correct any perceived lack of alignment or malfunction for a trouble free existence.  Do not be fooled by their apparent meekness.  They are like some rivers or water ways which appear calm on the surface, but have a deadly undercurrent that can sweep you away and cause untold destruction in a second.  These findings or observations are by no means shocking to those  of us with some experience, even if not from an academic perspective. We can write volumes of their propensity for violence.

The Family Court needs restructuring (Jamaica)

We need to change our focus at this premier social institution.  It seem to be focusing on reports which are mainly made by women.  These reports are not deeply interrogated. The Intake Officers at the Family Court are the first stop for complainants. They more often than not accept as gospel the complaints from these alleged complainants some women even in tears.  They are excellent actresses.  This is not to say that some of these are not genuine complaints. These Intake Officers who are mainly women are naturally inclined to use their personal life experiences to verify these claims.  From our investigations none of these Intake Officers are men.  We hope our findings are accurate. Also there are Councilors most of whom are women. Where is the balance?  Is it only women who are clinical psychologist?  Men can be fair also. Men can be compassionate also. Men can fully understand domestic breakdown in homes. Just give all sexes an equal opportunity to serve at the Family Court in these and all sensitive areas of the Family Court’s operations.

Empirical Data

There is ample empirical data that supports the view that women are very violent. So let us balance the debate and debunk the false notion that men are always the perpetrators of violence against women.

Hopeton O’Connor-Dennie is a veteran journalist who has a passion for family life. He has  international exposure.